Thoughts in solitude




No one is perfect they say but what to do when you have too many flaws residing within you. Some people might think you are rude but thats just your nature, your introvert nature that makes your personality like that maybe even boring, well not maybe. But how to change oneself. How to talk about it when you can't even express yourself even to your friends or family. You are like a tip of iceberg to them, they only know the stuff that you tell them but they dont really know you and its your fault only. What to do when you only have a few loved ones and you sometimes become distant from them just because of your damn nature and your damn thoughts that you so want to change but you can't. And they misread the situation and then they become distant from you(or maybe its just in your thoughts🤷‍♀️). It has happened a few times in my past with me though. Then you are left with this loneliness that somedays are fine and somedays it just gets the best of you. I am also an introvert and I hate being one, not really hate actually. Just wish I was like an ambivert or something.


Why is it so damn hard to express. God sometimes I think I really need help. I really think I should consult someone about it. My thoughts are gonna kill me someday. These thoughts are the reason I feel distant from my friends, loved ones and the ones that are left in the past. Wish I had a superpower or something to go in the past and change past me but thats not possible obviously. Too many things ended the way I didn't even imagine which led to some regrets that I really dont like having. Wish I could start over and do some things differently.

There's so much to say if only I could put them in words. Many times this anxiety, my thoughts got the best of me and I become this intolerable person, a boring person and a distant person. I just wish people could read minds, maybe then they would understand me, and accept me the way I am. Then maybe I could have loved me the way geet from jab we met loves herself(just kidding😂, not really though). I do love me(just few things) but not wholeheartedly. I don't know what people think about me, and by people I just mean those who are close to me. Only their thoughts about me matters. Wish I could know them only if they are positive though.

God too many wishes I have🙈, anyways enough of blabbering. Sharing my few thoughts in the form of a paragraph or "blog"was a little easier then vocally saying them.

Thankyou for bearing with me.
Love Vanshika🥰

Comments

  1. AnonymousJune 3, 2022 at 10:51 AM

    Lots of love to you too💕 just be the way you are , we love you the way you are. No one can hold anyone in his life , if you opened the door for someone to let him/her in your life then keep the door open for them to leave also . What is meant to stay will stay .

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJune 5, 2022 at 9:41 AM

    It is really good

    ReplyDelete

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